Someone shit on the floor
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
