Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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