Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
