Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
