the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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