But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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