If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
