Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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