Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
