i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
