ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
