If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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