Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
