he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
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In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
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are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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