i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
