wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
