All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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