This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We're too hungover to prance.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
