hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
