so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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