is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
