the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
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