It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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