weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
someone owes me an orgasm
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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