I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
