went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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