bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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