I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
