We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
There r osticjed everywhere
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
