i jhust puked up my retainher.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
