I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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