the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
