Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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