my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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