At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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