All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
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but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
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sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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