dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
