I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
