The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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