I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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