I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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