he puts the penis in happiness.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize