Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
