We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
