There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
