my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
