it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I've blown a few things in my day
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
