Can Purell be used as lube?
Ketchup is God's man juice
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
