Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
All the doctor said was why
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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