I wannas sexs uuuuu
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize