You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
