he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize