your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
