He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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