I faked an abortion last night.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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