I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
