just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.