he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
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