Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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