Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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