I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
